Wow, the last post is from 2010! I kind of forgot I had this blog. But I am back! I am trying to write more in general, though most is fiction. I do need to blog more. Sometimes I blog over at tumblr but I need a “real” blog, so here it is! I will try to update a few times a week. Let’s see how this goes.
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Taekia said this to me in describing her, Kate, and I having a lot of odd similiarities. For example – Taekia and I picked the same layout for our wordpress blogs. We say a lot of the same things or think of the same things at the same time. Kate and I have had the same interactions and found even our own histories similar. The HPA clearly attracts similar people.
In college I rarely met people similar to me, or at least in such obvious ways, excluding my old roommate who is, to this day, my best friend.
So the HPA has been a welcome change of pace. Everyone is both very different and very similar to me. I can be myself and no one cares. That’s something that’s rarely been entirely true.
And, hey, I’m a misfit. Always have been, likely always will be. And I have big dreams and goals and sometimes don’t know when I’m beat and should give up. But maybe that’s why I have gotten through everything life has thrown at me. And I haven’t gotten everything I’ve dreamed of, not even close, but I’ve gotten the stuff that really mattered. Sometimes it didn’t become clear until after. But it made it worth it in the end.
So thanks HPA – I’m a misfit and I am proud of it. And I am allowed to dream big because there’s no rule that says it can’t happen. And maybe that dream will come true in a few years or a few decades. All I can do is work as hard as possible for it.
For the last few years I have felt like Chandler from Friends on Thanksgiving. I rarely enjoyed the holiday and usually it was fraught with bad memories from years past. I also don’t like turkey that much. Or stuffing.
This year was different though. For the first time I hosted my own Thanksgiving, in DC. It was quiet and small – my mom and my best friend came over and we cooked a turkey breast, some of our favorite sides, and finished a bottle and a half of white wine. We watched the West Wing (“Charlie, get me the butterball hotline”) and some Harry Potter and spent a few hours just… relaxing. And despite exploding pies, three runs to the grocery store, and a slightly slow schedule, the food was good and the company great.
And for the first time I really felt grateful. I have an amazing mother and a fantastic best friend. Both of them have been with me through the best and worst of the last five years… all 5 years in DC (except 4 months in London and 3 in NY). And I did miss some of my family in NY… but it was also nice to have a quiet, argument-less holiday. One that left me realizing I may have reached a happy place, despite the problems that still crop up.
Most importantly, hosting my first Thanksgiving means I am an adult. And for the first time it didn’t bother me. I was OK with the responsibilities, problems, and fears that come with it because I am finally settling in. For now… and in DC.